World domination is a lot like the world of boxing. To reach the No. 1 spot takes a combination of a lot of things; good timing, hard work, determination, strength and a crafty coach with a lot of tricks up his sleeve. For the last century or so, America has held the title of No. 1 but recently it`s been acting like Rocky in Rocky 3 (or whichever one Mr. T was in) and other countries, particularly China has been acting like Mr. T. In the beginning, during training for the big fight, Rocky mostly makes a show out of it for the cameras. He hits the bag around a little bit, he smiled, he flexed a lot of muscle, he had a lot of fancy equipment that looked really flashy. Meanwhile, Mr. T was doing one-handed pull ups from a steel pipe in his basement and murdering a 5 dollar punching bag.
The foreshadowing was as obvious as the outcome, the Champ went down like a prom dress. It doesn`t take Warren Buffet or Alan Greenspan to see what the not so distant future holds for “The Champ” either. America, the party`s over. This will mean some good and some not so good consequences for America and the rest of the world. So here it is, my first Top 10 list.
Top 10 things the world will have to get used to when China takes over:
10. The circle jerk between America and Saudi Arabia will grow by about 2 billion hands.
9. Made in the U.S.A. will become the standard for cheap imported goods.
8. Hey, America will finally get some of those jobs back!
7. The U. S. will finally be able to, once again utilize it`s emance resources to feeding and employing it`s own citizens without the burden of being the world`s mother.
6. Anderson Cooper and Bill O`Riely will finally get that bare knuckles, to the death cage match fight I`ve been praying for…in prison.
5. People won`t fear the old CIA anymore, they`ll fear the new Chinese International Ass probe tracking association.
4. The confusion most westerners have between Japan and China will become obsolete when Japan is quickly and undefendedly annexed by China.
3. The new standard for naming our children will be by dropping cutlery down the stairs.
2. Hip Hop rappers will have to find cool, new words to rhyme with WAN instead of Dollar.
And the No. 1 thing the world will have to get used to when China takes over…
1. Tuna will no longer be known as `Chicken of the Sea` but be changed to `Dog of the Sea.`
East Egg 